~~~ April 9, 2003 ~~~

[Note from 2009: I made a very spontaneous 24 hour trip to Utah on Thursday/Friday thus the delay in journal entries. Sorry!]

I slept so much better last night. I've been taking a sleeping pill. I really hate to but I know its so important to get sleep while I can. My mind can go crazy especially at night so until things start to settle down I'll probably keep taking it.

I have been so tired today (even after I slept better.) There have been lots of phone calls and visitors today. Its good because it helps keep me busy and my mind preoccupied. Amy Christensen & Josh, and Sherrie Brady & Taylor came to visit this morning. They are such great people! They want to throw me a baby shower, I'm not quite sure how that'll work but grateful they want to make the effort. Aunt Dawn called, Ilundria visited for a while before class and Sister Bartlett & Robin, Sister Jorgensen & Brooke came by with flowers and cross stitch bibs. Everyone is so thoughtful to bring stuff to keep me BUSY. Ben Oviatt from Ames also stopped by after work. His dad has willingly offered to let us stay at their house in Des Moines whenever we need to. We might take him up on that offer after Austin is born. I know I won't be able to leave him in the hospital without one of us here. My poor little baby. Its amazing how the members of the church pull today - you always have a family whenever you need it.

I was in the bathroom (sponge bath) this morning when the Dr. did rounds this morning so I missed him. But I got some new orders: I can take out the IV tubing tonight around 6 pm. Which means I'll continue the antibiotics orally for the next 5 days. They also discontinued the fetal monitoring during the night so hopefully I'll be able to get some sleep. Again such simple pleasures that make my life a little more enjoyable.

I've been having terrible back pain ALL day! They had me on the monitor (just to make sure it wasn't contractions, it wasn't.) They gave me an air mattress last night and ordered a heating pad for tonight. Hopefully that'll help. Plus one of the antibiotics makes me so nauseous - I hate it! I really haven't been feeling top notch today. I'm realizing already the sacrifices a mother willingly makes for their child. The unconditional love for a special spirit I haven't even seen yet. But I would do anything to have Austin born healthy and okay. I would gladly be on bed rest for months to ensure his safe arrival into this world. We're going one day at a time, each day inside is a huge success and we focus on that.

I hate not knowing the definite outcome. Like how long I'll have to wait or how Austin will be when he's born, etc...I don't know what I can do but take it one day at a time.

I really worry about Kurt. He is so stressed out and is just having a hard time dealing with everything. He hates going to work because he feels bad leaving me all alone in the hospital but I know he'd go plum crazy if he was stuck here like me. Plus I'm doing OKAY! He doesn't have a million vacation days to spend fruitlessly. We'll need them later on when Austin comes. Its so important that he continue to get his rest and keep his strength because we'll both really need it, in the days to come. Not to mention he is driving back and forth to Pella constantly. Its just too much. His stomach has really been bothering him (can we say STRESS?!!!) So I told him to get a blessing today(I made him promise!) Plus he bought some TUMS to help settle his stomach. He bought a single air mattress so that he'll be able to get decent sleep the next coming days (I pray.) I just hope that he'll be able to cope with all the responsibilities and stresses he has and let the Lord help him carry it. He is a rock of a man. He is amazing, definitely my strength. There isn't ANYONE in the world I'd rather go through this with. There is just so much comfort knowing he is by my side and because I trust faithfully in our marriage I know we'll come out on top and stronger no matter what may happen.