Treasure Found

A few weeks ago I came across a lost treasure. The journal I kept days before Austin was born. It has been a sweet treasure. I decided to post my journal entries from 6 years ago. So starting today I'll post a journal entry until Austin's birthday (the 17th). It's mainly for me and posterity sake. Read if you will.

~~~April 7, 2003 (Monday) ~~~

Today the unthinkable happened. At this moment I still can't believe it happened. Everything just happened so fast. My mind is not quite sure how to process everything.

I woke this morning at 8 am and went about my normal routine. Ate breakfast, read my scriptures, started cleaning and the laundry. I wanted to do a low impact aerobic exercise, shower and then start on my paper work from Saturday's clinical by 9 am. So I was getting the tape in the right place and then I started. It was a very simple side to side movement not much different than walking. Not less than a moment later I felt my garments start to soak completely through and it continued running down my legs. I had had some trouble with stress incontinence (when laughing, sneezing, etc...) I was hoping in my mind that this was just a bad case of incontinence. But even though I was in denial I knew something was wrong. My first thought was to get clean. So after inspecting my garments and noting there was not a distinct smell and the fluid I was leaking was definitely clear I jumped into the shower. I could still feel fluid dipping down my legs throughout the shower which really frustrated me. I attempted to hurry up and finish my shower only to realize about 4 minutes later that in my haste I had only shaved one leg. As I was trying to dry off and apply lotion I continued to leak on the rug and on the floor. To stop from making a complete mess of the entire apartment I fastened a towel around me like a diaper held together with hair clips. And then I got ready for the day like nothing had happened and I wasn't wearing a large towel diaper. After I completely soaked the towel I threw in a load of laundry and put on my last pair of garments with the thickest pad I could find in the house (it had been a long time since I had wore one of those!) It wasn't too much later that I had completely soaked through that pair of garments also.

Now I was really starting to worry, I really didn't want to consider the idea that my water had broke but reality shouldn't be denied any longer and I started to bawl. I tried calling Kurt but he wasn't in his office. So I whipped out my pregnancy book in order to determine what was really going on. Being hopefully naive part of me still was wishing it was urine. My book was pretty clear on the matter - whether you know what the fluid is or not, of you are leaking that much you need to call your Dr. ASAP! To make matters more complicated it was my Dr.'s day off. I left a message with the nurse. After that I tried Kurt again but he still wasn't in his office. I tried to finish getting ready by blow drying my hair, doing my make-up, the every day routine.

The nurse was good to call me back promptly. I reviewed the morning events with her. She said that I would need to come in most likely to make sure everything was okay. She said she would get a hold of Dr. Frederickson ASAP and call me back. OKAY. Reality was starting to set in but I was still hoping it wasn't the amniotic fluid that was leaking. I knew I HAD to get a hold of Kurt at this point - who knows when he would come back to the office. So I called the main office and asked them to page Kurt Romans for me because it was an emergency. When he called I gave him about a 2 sentence version of all the happenings this morning and asked if he could come home to take me to the Dr.'s office. Minutes after I got off the phone with him the nurse called back and said Dr. Frederickson had just walked in the office, could I please come in ASAP. Kurt was on his way to pick me up.

We didn't have to wait more than a minute before we were called back to his office. I told him what had happened and he prepared to do an exam on me. There is a simple test you can do with amniotic fluid under a microscope (it spreads and branches like a fern) plus the pH level is completely opposite from urine. Both tests came back positive, it was amniotic fluid. Kurt started to cry. Even though I had been in denial all morning, I knew and was blessed to remain calm (plus I had already cried for at least an hour earlier that morning.)

Dr. Frederickson explained what was going to happen: they were going to transfer me to Mercy Hospital (my hospital) in Des Moines where I would be on bed rest until Austin was born. They wanted to take me by ambulance (for continuous monitoring.) They wheeled me over into the OB unit of the Pella hospital where they immediately started an IV (well, at least it started on the 3rd try, my veins kept bursting) and gave a shot of steroids in my hips. The last thing to develop (at 36 weeks) is the baby's lungs so by giving the steroid they can further develop in case of his early arrival.

While they started the meds Kurt ran home to grab a few things - WE JUST WEREN'T READY FOR THIS TO HAPPEN TODAY!!! I couldn't think of anything that I needed - that was the last thing on my mind! Kurt told me later that he just ran around the apartment in circles before he could even think clearly. Kurt got back to the hospital about 5 minutes before the ambulance arrived. They loaded me up on the stretcher, piled on the blankets and secured me in like a mummy (or body bag, which ever!) Kurt followed us in the car. He made a million phone calls - I think this was the biggest week of April or at least the busiest, so there were lots of cancellation phone calls to make.

The ambulance ride was interesting. Since I wasn't dialated or having any contractions they didn't have to speed or turn on the lights (much to Kurt's dismay.) The lady that rode in the back with me was a volunteer (an RN by profession) so it was fun to talk with her. I can't honestly tell you what I was thinking, it's all a blur and a SHOCK! We just weren't prepared or expecting to do this in April.

They took me up to room 490 & started all the paperwork. My new Dr. also came in and spoke with us. He seems to be very nice and experienced in this area. They put me on full bed rest (that includes bed pan) but luckily my diet was not restricted. They had an ultrasound come in - there is no fluid left in the womb and with all the measurements they say he weighs 3 pounds 6 ounces. Antibiotics were started and a fetal monitor was on at all times (it monitors the baby's heart rate and my contractions which are still nonexistent.) The major risk after your water breaks is infection thus the reason for antibiotics (2 different types, 24 hours a day.) So basically the Dr. said that if I did get an infection they would start my contractions (and thus labor.) Otherwise they would wait for the contractions to begin naturally since my water broke they weren't going to stop them. So basically its a waiting game. The longer he can stay inside and let his lungs develop the better. That'll be less time he'll have to stay in the NICU and the sooner he'll be able to come home. I NEVER wanted to be on bed rest (who does???) but I DO want Austin more than anything else so it's the sacrifice I'll have to make.

Kurt called our good friends from Ames, Jay Christensen and asked him to come down and help give me a blessing. Naturally he was willing. Ilundria, Lynette and Donia came by to visit after class. It was really nice that they would come by. They were so sweet and supportive. They were able to stay for the blessing also, so that was a good experience. The blessing was very nice, we both feel calm and comforted. I have a good husband, I don't know what I'd do without him!

They moved me from the normal OB birthing unit to the "other side" where high risk pregnancies and NICU is. So now we just wait.

Kurt didn't stay the night, he had to be at work early the next morning. I was doing okay until he left and then it was too much. Everything was really starting to sink in and the shock wearing off. I felt so alone in that dark hospital room and I just
started worrying about our baby. He is going to be so small. I hate the thought of him being in the NICU and that I won't be able to hold and love him endlessly. I called Kurt (who was on his way home) and we cried together.