Life after Lucy was born was different than I anticipated.
Kurt has been busier than ever this year which is a good thing but it also means we haven't seen him very much. And sadly that didn't change after she was born. He was there the day she was born but that was the extent of his time off.
That first week I brought her home I was really unhappy about it. To the point that I was ready to call my Doctor for postpartum depression. One of my most favorite times {ever} is bringing home a new baby. The spirit is strong and sweet and I can't think of anything more magical. But he was missing it. And I was racking my brain for the reasons WHY we were doing this {owning our own business?} What are the benefits? I would take having a husband in my life over money every time.
I finally expressed my feelings at the end of the week. Communicating helped.
Its been a month and I still get frustrated. Last night I had a reality check. I have turned into that complaining, nagging, unhappy wife I never wanted to be. Why have I been so selfish and so consumed in my own unhappiness? Have I thought about Kurt's sacrifice? He works so hard, endlessly, to provide for our family. I have been ungrateful and unappreciative. He does not want to give up the business so I need to be supportive.
The change will come from me.
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2 comments:
Oh girlfriend. I'm sorry about the struggle. That has to be hard. I am thinking about you. Always.
Its a fragile time after having a baby, especially the 5th.
He probably feels an even greater need to provide with another mouth to feed, and his way of being the best dad he can is to work and provide.
Keep communicating, let him know you need him just a little more than normal.
I understand how your feeling though. Its not easy balancing it all.
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